the cum I gave you…

When you aren’t with me, I jerk off to porn. It isn’t a subconscious reflection of other desires, because God knows, our flesh is not wanting. I am a voyeur if truth be told, and like to watch — I like to watch and make myself cum.

It is late where you are, and as we say goodnight, you laugh and suggest I watch some orgy porn, but only if I remember to whisper your name as I cum. As I slide my phone onto the night table, the thought of cumming for you has taken root and I throw the covers off and search for my computer — I like my porn on the big screen. My cock is urging me to hurry back under the covers and the thought of being hard washes through me.  

I like to jerk off to porn in the dark and by the glow of the computer screen; not because of any sort of embarrassment but there is a feeling of emersion as I watch. I scroll the endless clips of people licking and fucking; I pass on many, and click on some – sometimes it is simply a man and woman fucking, other times it involves the smooth look of latex but mostly, I like to watch couples sharing each other and showing off. I shy away from the overly produced and spend my time looking for something more amateur; in my mind, it is something a little bit more real.

As you encouraged, I found something with three women and two men — something that offers many possibilities with cock and cunt and cunt and cunt. Even with amateur porn, there is often a formula in front of the camera and I like the feeling of what I’ve found and start to watch it play out; I make myself comfortable, bringing my knees up to cradle the computer.

I’m captivated when the women are playful and laughing. One of the women inevitably finds her way between spread legs and tastes perfectly shaven pussy — the woman with the perfectly shaven pussy moans with abandon. Another is sharing a kiss and is caressing a breast waiting her turn. She is pleasantly surprised as a man enters the screen and starts caressing the shape of her ass. See encourages the man to fuck her, and as he enters her from behind, she moans. Her sounds mix with the sounds of the woman with the perfectly shaven pussy.

My cock is hard and I lift the computer as I throw off the sheets; I hold the laptop above me as I stoke my cock lightly and stare intently at the screen. Another guy enters the screen, and as he watches the fucking and the pussy eating, he lowers himself over the woman with the perfectly shaved pussy who stops moaning to suck his cock; he contorts himself to kiss the woman who is being fucked from behind.

I am now stroking faster and harder. I think of you as I watch but I don’t want to whisper your name yet, so shift myself and slow my tempo. Sometimes I must stop all together if my cock begins to throb. I don’t want to cum yet.

The woman with the perfectly shaved pussy is now watching the two other women get fucked missionary style and is encouraging on the men to fuck harder. She kisses each woman gently and asks if they like getting fucked while someone watches. The nod their approval, and scream and moan.

I have given up trying to hold back cumming and stroke my cock the length of the shaft imaging being encouraged to fuck you. My arm is tiring from holding up the computer, but I am almost there; my balls have contracted up and I am so very hard. I grunt your name as I release, and as I continue to stroke my cock, I can feel it pulsing; cum has become a sort of lube.

I abruptly stop, and let the computer drop to the bed. The glow from people fucking on screen illuminates the cum on my hand, my stomach and even a drop or two on my chest. I whisper your name in the dark again and wish you were here — but you are not. I listen to the pounding in my chest for a moment and then shut the screen on my computer and push it to the side. I pull the sheets over me and feel the cool wetness of my cum.

In the darkness, as I’m about to fall asleep, I can feel cum run down my side. I shift and roll over on my side and relish in the cum I gave you.

W